1. You don’t need a partner, but you deserve a good one.
Tell her about the person she deserves, someone who respects her, her wishes and lifestyle, her dreams and ambitions, and her family and friends. Tell her to find a partner who encourages and supports her. Tell her to take her time. Don’t settle for anyone who isn’t up to her standards. It is alright to wait and wait alone.
2. In basketball sneakers or pumps, you are beautiful.
When she’s a teenager, and she wakes up in the morning with messy hair and acne, tell her she looks stunning. This lets her know that it’s okay to be herself and feel comfortable in her own skin. We have far too many beautiful young women walking around with gobs of makeup on, thinking it’s the only way to impress people or be ‘pretty.’
3. Don’t be afraid of upsetting me.
Remind her that you brought her into this world not to discipline and scorn her, but to help her succeed and be her own person. She needs to know that she can come to you with difficult problems and expect a logical and supportive response.
4. Get out and take risks.
As mothers, we want to protect our daughters from everything. We want to take away the risks and make sure she is safe. But it’s important, no matter how difficult it is for you, to tell her to take risks.
5. Have fun, no matter what.
Remind her to have fun, to laugh and to make stupid choices. If you don’t tell her now, she may grow up and take a job that she hates. If you can teach her to have fun, she will know that no matter the circumstances there is always room for laughter and a good time.
6. Make your own money.
Teach her about the meaning of independence, as it could save her from future heartbreak and from losing her identity. She deserves to know what it means to feel powerful and in control. She may wind up not needing or having a job after marriage, but being able to take care of herself financially protects her from possible crises and gives her options.
7. Find the beauty in everyone and everything.
Teach her to be different from the rest. Tell her to be patient and kind and to never judge before you know the full story. Don’t let her hate anything or anyone. Give her a reason not to. It is the key to inner peace, and that is what we all want for our daughters.
8. Learn how to say “I’m sorry.”
This is the most important one of all. We teach them to say it. We need to say it as frequently as necessary. No matter how embarrassed you are, or how stupid you feel for doing whatever you did, if it was something you would have expected an apology for, give one to her.
9. Let’s watch a movie.
Sometimes all she needs is a good friend to watch an emotional movie with. Let her cry, laugh or talk through the whole thing. Let her pick the movie. Show her that it is okay to just relax and not overthink every situation.
10. Don’t go to college if you don’t know what you want to do.
Parents occasionally, especially during their teenager’s high school years, push college really hard. Where are you going to go? What are you going to study? It’s overwhelming for everyone. Instead, tell her that it’s ok to wait. Let her know you will be proud of her even if she takes a job straight out of high school for minimum pay.
11. Dress up for you.
Dressing up is fine, as long as you teach her to do it for herself. It’s rewarding to feel beautiful and to look in the mirror and only see yourself. Just her and her honest smile because she knows without anyone complimenting her that she is pretty.
12. If you feel like being weird, do it and do it well.
Never, ever encourage her to hide her personality. Tell her that it’s okay and a blessing to be weird. Let her be weird in front of others, she may be the next thing to hit the big screens because of it.
13. Never degrade another woman.
Tell your daughter how important it is for us women to bond together. We have our equality but it doesn’t hurt to be supportive. Tell her to not call other girls mean hateful names because it only gives the guys more of a reason to do it. Remind her to be friendly toward other women and encourage them to live out their dream no matter what it is.